the intricate simplicity of life.

exquisite decor.
vintage boutiques.
deep philosophy.
mysticism.
rich dark chocolate.
thick latte foam.
fine red wine.
good reads.
asymmetry.

sensation.
sensations.
sensational.

the logic of dreamland.

naps.
abandoned buildings & train rides.
coin toss decisions.
early morning.  sights smells and sounds thereof.
salt water.
dandelions and their possibilities.
starry skies.

transformation.
long drives in a lightning storm.  radiohead optional.
passenger seats [anytime].
nag champa.
mood music.
vines.
henna.
fake jewels.
dirty feet.

sustained eye contact.
swimming naked.
the magic buttons, repeat :  rewind  :  enhance
dry puppy noses.
bike rides.
hugs.

NOT trashy.  risque.

coffee breath & the lingering scent of tobacco.

scandalous love.

hairless kittens & big dogs.
bike rides.
massages.
fishes nibbling on your toes.
antique.

to-do's on tuesday.

sometimes i like to make my to-do list at the end of the day.

coffee & cook breakfast.
a little quality time with my Jesus.
empty the dishwasher.
work.
session at the Y..reading a personal financial planner’s book while on the treadmill.
coffee.
work.
whip together a salad for lunch
catch up on my favorite bands
.nap.
shower.
tan.
coffee.
library.
begin a 10 page analysis of the US policies in the global economy.
successfully call 1800 contacts and get 2 boxes shipped to me for free (thanks Lord)

best part here..) put on an apron, cook a nice mexican feast, fill the sink with soaking dishes, do a load of laundry, take out the trash, and watch freedom to fascism, a scathing exposure of the the unconstitutional income tax. (note to self - quit paying this.)  oh yes, all while wearing heels and a dress. (i love being domestic.)

left to do:
clean the bathroom.
make a budget.
order my vitamins.
unpack.
create a brochure for the orphanage.

things i'm excited about.

things i’m excited about right now (in no particular order):

-500 days of summer. i really look forward to seeing this.

-brand new’s new album

-mewithoutyou in a couple weeks

-my birthday

-hopefully getting a bike

-starting (for real this time) my internship

-training for a half marathon while raising money for Living Water International.

-seeing brand new this fall

-coffee in straws

-writing a cool paper about economics…okay not so much that one.

-nikki coming to stay with me

-lindsey coming to visit

-hitchhiking to houston sometime soon.

these things they are good.

an excerpt from my real journal.

…

it’s the unknown that’s terrifying.

but i’ll tell you what’s even more terrifying.

one of the things i fear the most..is that i would settle.  that i would find myself content in something that is safe.
that i would choose security over risk.                comfort over passion.

and i can see it as a possibility.  today i found myself considering taking one of the many safe options before me.  (it’s never too late.  safe is always an option, maybe?)

but i want to hear the blood rushing in my ears
feel my heart pounding through my chest
shiver with goosebumps
tremble as chills race down my backbone.
Scream in terror & delight.
lose my breath.  lose the fear of never catching it again.
to live with butterflies in my stomach.

this i want, this i crave.
in the end, i know i’ll find it in me to pursue it.  but it will cost me everything i’ve got.
with no time for backward glances.

and i don’t feel ready quite yet.  that excuse will always be there.  can anyone who chose the path i will choose truly say they were ready for it?